TRUE EQUATIONS THAT PROVE I'M A REAL MATHEMATICIAN
I'm not a real mathematician. Did I fool you? These are still true, though.
- •Cozy > all other feeling
- •Flannel sheets + winter = joy
- •Flannel sheets + summer = terrorism
- •Mattress - foam mattress topper = nonsense
- •Socks x nighttime = 0
- •Blankets + blankets + blankets = puppies
- •Sleep / on my back = anxiety! panic!
- •Oh wait. I guess I don't understand math at all. I just like being snugly. So sue me!**
- •**Please do not sue me. It was hyperbole, you silly billy. I work at a nonprofit and do comedy and you'll really get nothing out of the experience, most certainly not financial gain.