TYPES OF DOOD PROFILES ON TINDER

  1. 1.
    Dood who acts like he doesn't understand why a woman would want to know how tall he is.
    "5'11 because apparently that matters."
  2. 2.
    Dood who is polyamorous.
  3. 3.
    Dood who has no hobbies other than being "420 friendly."
  4. 4.
    Dood who is very liberal with his emojis.
    Not sure what I'm supposed to infer from this, but ok: πŸ•ΆπŸ‘ŸπŸ‹πŸŒ΅πŸšβ˜€οΈπŸπŸŽΏπŸŠπŸŽ·
  5. 5.
    Dood who "just wants to take things slowly and be friends and see where things go."
    Cool, man. No one is in a rush to jump on your dick. Relax.
  6. 6.
    Dood who has kids.
    ...in ALL his pictures.
  7. 7.
    Dood who has only blurry photos.
    WTF era you living in?
  8. 8.
    Dood who has no solo photos?
    WTF kind of detective do you take me for?
  9. 9.
    Dood who has nothing but negative things to say.
    Girls who are blah, blah, or blah swipe left.
  10. 10.
    Dood who is real into personality assessment.
    ENFP, LEO, BEAVER, YEAR OF THE SHEEP, BUZZFEED SAYS IM A YELLOW.
  11. 11.
    Dood with lots of gun shooting photos. 😬
  12. 12.
    Dood who thinks he's a better dood than he is and just wants to feel bad for himself.
  13. 13.
    Dood who has never smiled in his life.
  14. 14.
    Dood who thinks he's the wittiest dood to hit Tinder.
  15. 15.
    Dood who tells you everywhere he's lived in his bio.
    NY > MI > China > LA > NEXT UP, URANUS
  16. 16.
    Dood that's "only in town for a few days, let's hang out."
  17. 17.
    Dood that's had a lot of head shots taken.