1. Gueuzetrude Stein: There is no beer there
    A carafe, that is a blind glass
  2. Joyce Carol Oatmeal Stout: Black water
    I'm so sorry.
  3. Jonathan Franzenskaner: Overrated
    All of your friends drink it though.
  4. All the Natty Light We Cannot See
  5. Monique Wittbier: A Guérill-ale
    The logo here would definitely be a beer bottle with a shattered neck.
  6. Lambic Pentameter: This bottled beer is cold and sour sweet.
    This joke would have been impressive in high school
  7. India Pale Fire: Pretty hoppy
    Throughly annotated with citrus flavors
  8. Lager? I hardly know 'er
  9. That beer you never got to share with your old man before he bit down on his revolver. "Get me another Colt 45, you sonofabitch. No! Wrong ... kind" LIGHTS GO DOWN. CURTAIN.
  10. Malt Whitman
  11. Tell Tale Heart IPA - It's delicious!
    Suggested by @patrickrogers