- •If I only curled with one arm, I'd become a superhero.My catchphrase would be: "You messed with the wrong side, buddy". I'd turn around and sock 'em with my engorged right limb.
- •You peed in a girl's belly button to make babies.I was still closer than those idiots who believed that stork thing.
- •Good children threw Bibles at their parents to end fights and stave off divorce.It worked, after all.
- •Adults memorized directions like video game cheat codes.I used to write "left left left right left right" on the way to the supermarket in case I ever had to go there alone.
- •Only maniacs flew in planes, ate seafood, listened to classical music, moved houses, red non-fiction, or are dinner after 5pm.All of these came from my mother.