NUMBERS THAT I DO NOT TRUST

  1. 1.
    Seven, patron prime of brides, brothers and Brad Pitt
  2. 2.
    Zero, using words like "preoriginal unity" to explain his stupid tattoo
  3. 3.
    Ninety-nine, the twee dude in Breton stripes asking your main squeeze if she wants a goddamn luftballon
  4. 4.
    One, can't get over his dick
  5. 5.
    10,000 (you know why)
  6. 6.
    My pin number
  7. 7.
    That show about the mathematician that solves murders with the Pythagorean theorem and his tousled hair