DEAR FRIENDLY LI.ST BARTENDER: WHAT ALCOHOL SHOULD I STOCK TO BEST SURVIVE THIS ELECTION SEASON?

@Melodie My dear...that's a goddamn good question
  1. Bourbon. A must.
  2. Gin. A double must.
  3. Vodka. A triple must.
  4. Champagne. To quote Napoleon Bonaparte: "In victory, one must have champagne. In defeat, one needs it."
  5. A whole lot of cheap beer, because dark times are ahead.