Special thanks to the supremely amazing @Lindi
  1. So, you may be thinking to yourself: "Self, the election anxiety is monstrous! I hate this shit! I wonder if there's a cocktail to soothe my nerves!"
  2. WELL, SAY: "NO MORE"!
  3. I give you: "The Last Word", a cocktail dating from roughly 1921 (pre-Prohibition) and featured in "Bottoms Up!", a cocktail book written in 1951 by Ted Saucier. Mr. Saucier reports that the drink was first served at the Detroit Athletic Club and credits a Mr. Frank Fogarty with the creation.
  4. I am also calling this: "I'm With Her".
  5. Start with 1 oz. of gin.
  6. 3/4 oz. of green Chartreuse. Remember my policy on Chartreuse: less is more! Be careful with that stuff.
  7. 1 oz. of maraschino liquor.
  8. 1 oz. of lime juice.
  9. Pour all the ingredients into a metal shaker. Shake well. Serve "up" in a martini glass. Garnish with a lime peel.
  10. Here. It is a combination of a sour, lime gimlet with a little sweetness and herbaceous flavors. A truly, truly beautiful drink.
  11. If Trump wins, here's my recipe. It's called: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
  12. Buy one gallon of orange paint.
  13. Drink until blindness, death, or sudden renal failure occurs.
  14. So...drink up! Remember, kids: at the end of the day, it doesn't matter who wins or loses. It's whether a fascist, orange, misogynistic, small-handed, pussy-grabbing, fear-mongering, fucking horror show of a human being wins or loses.
  15. I'll be here in Northern California, tending bar for any wayward soul that is fleeing their home state for asylum until the "1984-esque" thought police throw a black bag over my head, and drag me off behind the tool shed to be shot.
  16. I bid thee adieu.
  17. SEXT (election style)