How to Be a Giant Robot

  1. Eat whole-grain cereal every morning.
  2. Breathe deeply while walking around.
  3. Using a paring knife, chop 1 1/2 cups of celery into 1/4" squares, and put them into your sauce. Turn stove to low heat.
  4. Avoid detection by staying in the shadows.
  5. Press the following: A, B, A, B, up, down, left, right, B, A, start.
  6. Write a four paragraph essay on the symbolism of the horse in Dostoevsky's "Crime and Punishment".
  7. Using glue and Popsicle sticks, construct an artificial kidney dialysis machine.
  8. The Windsor knot is tied: the rabbit goes around the tree once, then twice, comes up through the hole, sees his shadow, predicts six months of winter, and rests just above the belt buckle.
  9. Say: "Boop Boop beep beep does not compute logic error error" a lot.