How to Win Your Upcoming Rap Battle
- •Start small. Pick on other people's moms in haiku form.
- •Gradually, incorporate hand puppets.
- •Move rhythmically to the beat. Chew gum the whole time.
- •Shriek like a barn owl at your opponent.
- •Remember to use plenty of homonyms.
- •For extra points, use the following words: "mis-en-scene", "Walla Walla", "disenfranchised", "Mookie Blaylock"
- •Jump up and down a lot.
- •Distract your opponent by releasing pigeons in linguistic patterns resembling iambic pentameter.
- •If all else fails: SEXT a lot.