1. Start small. Pick on other people's moms in haiku form.
  2. Gradually, incorporate hand puppets.
  3. Move rhythmically to the beat. Chew gum the whole time.
  4. Shriek like a barn owl at your opponent.
  5. Remember to use plenty of homonyms.
  6. For extra points, use the following words: "mis-en-scene", "Walla Walla", "disenfranchised", "Mookie Blaylock"
  7. Jump up and down a lot.
  8. Distract your opponent by releasing pigeons in linguistic patterns resembling iambic pentameter.
  9. If all else fails: SEXT a lot.