I DON'T FUCK WITH:
Inspired by way funnier people than me.
- •A cactus. They're pokey.
- •A knife. It's stabby.
- •A garbage disposal. It's awkward, and stabby.
- •"without" my penis, as it is my only appendage designed for such a purpose.
- •Others in the room, save the "other" that is engaging in consensual sex with me. It's awkward.
- •Mr. T, because he will likely hurt me. A lot. And slowly.
- •My cowboy boots on. Actually, I don't own cowboy boots. However, if I owned them, I would not. Awkward.
- •Nacho cheese. It's awkward, and gooey.
- •Candy. It's awkward, and sticky.
- •A panini maker. It's hot, and awkward.