Kids, Look:

  1. I'm not a doctor, and I don't have any reason to speak about this topic, but please don't send pictures of your junk to other people.
  2. It fuels my anger on many levels.
  3. One: regardless of your gender or sexual preference, sending pictures of your erect "nonsense bar" is, frankly, tacky.
  4. It's tacky because it's straight-up rude. No one is impressed. No one ever says: "Please. I want to see your erect "HOO-ha". Send me a photo." Like, ever.
  5. It's tacky because if you're so vapid and vain to think a picture of your erect "gizmo" is going to make a lady or guy swoon, you've most likely fallen into the unrealistic, false pretense-oriented, situational implausibility that is porn.
  6. It's tacky because it's unnecessary.
  7. Two: Boners aren't pretty. I have spoken to many female friends about this, and they just aren't. Sorry.
  8. Three: You want to woo a person, use words! Stimulate their mind! Be Cyrano de Bergerac! BE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN! Because, Lord knows, we need more of them these days.
  9. Thus endeth the sermon.