Mustaches I Would Eat in Order to Gain Their Power.

  1. The power of overall HAWT-ness.
  2. The power of sophistication.
  3. The power to talk like a pirate.
  4. The power of hard-hitting journalism.
  5. The power of being insanely rich.
  6. The power of Hulkamania.
  7. The power of just being awesome.
  8. The power of sultry power ballads.
  9. The power of "old-timey HAWT-ness"
  10. The power of being a cranky guy complaining about fiber and: "the diabetes".
  11. The power to have irrevocably changed hairstyles for men.
  12. The power of inner peace through non-violent conflict resolution.
  13. The power of ROCK.
  14. The inner power of SEXT.
  15. The power of love.