Tequila and I Are Not Friends.

  1. I was 18. My roommate was 22.
  2. He bought some Jose Cuervo. We made margaritas. I had never had them before.
  3. I decided to skip the "middleman", and just drink tequila straight.
  4. I got a call from a girl across campus that wanted to hang out. I wandered out of the apartment. This was 9:00 at night.
  5. I got lost. It was very dark, and I was very, very, very drunk.
  6. I decided I was too tired to continue walking. I laid down on the grass.
  7. It turns out I had wandered into the old Oregon Pioneer Cemetery on campus.
  8. I woke up the next morning, with the dense fog swirling around me, and the morning dew still clinging to my clothes. I had fallen asleep on someone's grave. The fog had crept through the graveyard, and I couldn't tell where the hell I was.
  9. Still drunk, I yelled out: "HOLY SHIT! I'M DEAD!"
  10. I got up and wandered around a cemetery, still blind drunk from tequila.
  11. When the morning sun broke through the heavy fog, I went home. My roommates thought I had either been arrested, or I was dead.
  12. That made two of us.