THE GOLDEN GIRLS SLIDING SCALE OF DRUNKENNESS

For the ever-brilliant, ever-amazing, lovely @Melodie
  1. Erik, drinking beer (Stage One - Dorothy)
  2. Erik, drinking wine (Stage Two - Sophia)
  3. Erik, drinking whiskey (Stage 2.5 - Sophia)
  4. Erik, drinking tequila (Stage 3.0 - Sophia)
  5. Erik, drinking tequila and margaritas and more tequila (Stage 3.5 - Super Sophia)
  6. Erik, drinking martinis (Stage 4.0 - Rose)
  7. Erik, drinking 10-minute Manhattans (Stage 4.5 - Super Rose)
  8. Erik, drinking wine, beer, and martinis (Stage 5.0 - Delusions of Grandeur Rose)
  9. Erik, drinking rum (Stage 5.5 - Blanche)
  10. Erik, drinking champagne and rum (Stage 6.0 - "Mega-Blanche")(At this point, things could either get crazy, maudlin, or sexy. It literally can turn on a dime.)
  11. Erik, just drinking champagne all day (Stage Null Zero - "Erik needs to go to bed", "Erik is nude on a golf course", "His clothes are here, but his body is there.", "Erik is riding on an inflatable palm tree in the pool.")
  12. At this point, I am usually either in a toilet, passed out, passed out in a cemetery, making out with a puppet, passed out nude, or waking up with the worst hangover known to man.
  13. Thank you.
  14. SEXT