The inarguably most perfect holiday drink that will please even the grinchiest grinches

For my homie @mnickwrites He is an amazing guy. Cheers, my man. This is for you.
  1. Kids, Thanksgiving can be a time of tasty treats, wrestling with your siblings and parents (physically and verbally), and watching: "Druncle Ed" get wasted on light beer.
  2. Drink-wise, it usually involves your standard fare for booze. You'll find wine, beer, cider, and maybe some champagne to boot.
  3. However, I say: "Look, kids...why not try something different? Something truly traditional? Something...historical?"
  4. SAY NO MORE!
  5. I'm making punch. Lemme give you a lesson, first.
    Thank you, Epicurus and Wikipedia for my reference material.
  6. The word "punch" is a loanword from the Sanskrit word: "punc", meaning: "five". This was generally used to describe the drink since it was compromised of five ingredients: sugar, lemon, water, tea or spices, and (of course) a form of alcohol.
  7. Generally, the drink was brought to England from India through merchant ships from the British East India Company in the 17th century. From here, it spreads in popularity throughout Europe, into the creation of communal punch houses.
  8. The Oxford English Etymology tells us that the first use of the word: "punch" can be found in written records in England in 1632.
  9. Back then, a punch-like drink was the wassail type. You may have heard it as its' alternative name: "Smoking Bishop", a mulled wine recipe with fruit and spices. Sometimes, you used brandy or port wine as the base. You'll find the absolute classic recipe referenced in Dickens' "A Christmas Carol".
    That is a future list, I assure you.
  10. In 1655, one sees the punch featuring Jamaican rum, as British exploration and trade routes use it as the primary ingredient. It's a good base for all punch.
  11. My personal favorite is a punch known as: "Fish House Punch", dating back to 1732. It has it's own peculiar history. Another future list, I assure you.
  12. However, here is my twist on a Thanksgiving punch.
  13. Start with 8 cups of apple cider. Just normal apple cider.
    Don't use apple juice. Too much sugar. Too sweet. Just normal cider.
  14. 1 entire bottle of dry hard cider. I recommend Magner's Irish dry cider. I like the flavor. Buy three to equal 750 ml of cider.
    Yes. That much. You're making punch, not tea.
  15. 3 bottles of ginger beer. I recommend Fever Tree. Just the right amount of spice.
  16. 2 cups of whiskey. I recommend Makers Mark. It is a good, solid whiskey for all occasions.
  17. The juice of one whole lemon.
  18. Several dashes of orange bitters. I use Regan's. So should you.
  19. 6 orange slices.
  20. 6 cinnamon sticks.
  21. 4 cloves of star anise.
  22. Take all of these ingredients, and mix them all together in a large punch bowl. Stir vigorously. Allow the punch to steep a bit before serving. This drinks serves 15-20 people.
  23. Voila! A drink mixing spice, sweet, tart from the lemon, orange and yummy, smoky bourbon whiskey. The spice of ginger beer is a huge flavor. If you want, vary it with Crabbie's alcoholic ginger beer.
  24. Drink up. Enjoy a historical event with a historical drink.
  25. To @mnickwrites Drink up, homie!!!!
  26. Cheers!