Things I Like to Do.

  1. Read stuff.
  2. Write stuff.
  3. Say stupid things.
  4. Drink coffee.
  5. Drink "adult beverages".
  6. Make "adult beverages" for others.
  7. Try out new "adult beverage" recipes.
  8. Play guitar...sometimes softly, sometimes loudly.
  9. Drive around.
  10. Look at stuff.
  11. Walk the dogs.
  12. SEXT stuff. SEXT.
  13. Watch T.V.
  14. Make homemade Kahlua. Sometimes, I make homemade saturnes in the dishwasher.
  15. Make up alternate lyrics to: "Wannabe", by the Spice Girls.
    Such as: "If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends. I mean, ALL of them. Even their pets. Go. Now." Or, "If you wannabe the show '227', you gotta be Marla Gibbs. Or, sometimes, Jackee Harry." Or, "If you wanna dance calypso, you gotta get Lord Kitchner in your band." (Google it, kids)
  16. Enjoy the witty, folksy tales of Garrison Keillor. Just kidding. I've been drinking my: "Ice Maker Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1925".
  17. Prank solicitor phone calls by requesting solar panel parts for my: "secret death ray", or pretending to be a retired World War II colonel that can usually be found trapped under heavy objects in my house, and how I use flare guns to signal for help, but the flares often start fires.
  18. Sit with my dogs.
  19. Give hugs.
  20. Struggle-snuggle eels.
  21. Drink my homemade toilet "Jack Daniels".
  22. Design a pantsuit wardrobe for famous cartoon characters, mainly because I find a duck walking around in a sailor shirt, but no pants, particularly saddening.
  23. Riding my exercise bike, but pretending I'm going somewhere, or that I'm powering a giant generator, or I'm running away from invisible, but slow-moving, beetles.
  24. Writing these things to entertain others...which, I hope I have. If not, I apologize profusely, and will happily make you a: "panini maker Mint Julep".