Why Have I Spent All Weekend Trying to Make Out With My Phone

  1. I don't know.
  2. Maybe I just want to be kissed by a silent, yet emotionally unavailable, lady robot.
  3. Maybe these issues come my inability to connect with others.
  4. Maybe it stems from the fact that my mom was a blender, and my grandparents were hair dryers.
  5. Maybe, and mind you...this is a stretch... but I like giant, construction equipment, and it kind of thrills me.
  6. Maybe...just maybe...I find myself getting aroused by the sound of an emulsifier making potato leek soup.
  7. I just don't know.
  8. SEXT ("GAME OF THRONES" SEASON PREMIERE STYLE)