RULES FOR MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE
Inspired by @drugs. My grandma hates my mom, doesn't like me v much, adores my sister, gets along with my dad for a bit until hidden tensions get high and we are all passive aggressively silent.
- •Do not wear a beanie. (New Rule circa 2015)Last time I was wearing one & and she said, "I've seen a lot of those... hats?... I've always wanted to ask... why?"
- •Do not comment on how cold the house is.It is set at 65 degrees and you do not talk about how freezing that is. It is never to be discussed.
- •Do not wear more clothes when you're cold.See above.
- •You will leave with at least 3 things you didn't know she had.A duffle bag, a necklace, a pack of yellowed notebooks.
- •You'll eat whatever she gives to you.Potato candy. I ate potato candy. It is mashed potatoes mixed with powered sugar.
- •She'll ask for help fixing technology.Her tv menu was in Spanish and her laptop hadn't been updated in 2 years. She was also connecting to her neighbor's wifi & was upset it was so slow.
- •Fox News will be BLASTING from the tv.Partially bc her hearing is bad, but mostly bc she's trying to save me.