RULES FOR MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE

Inspired by @drugs. My grandma hates my mom, doesn't like me v much, adores my sister, gets along with my dad for a bit until hidden tensions get high and we are all passive aggressively silent.
  1. Do not wear a beanie. (New Rule circa 2015)
    Last time I was wearing one & and she said, "I've seen a lot of those... hats?... I've always wanted to ask... why?"
  2. Do not comment on how cold the house is.
    It is set at 65 degrees and you do not talk about how freezing that is. It is never to be discussed.
  3. Do not wear more clothes when you're cold.
    See above.
  4. You will leave with at least 3 things you didn't know she had.
    A duffle bag, a necklace, a pack of yellowed notebooks.
  5. You'll eat whatever she gives to you.
    Potato candy. I ate potato candy. It is mashed potatoes mixed with powered sugar.
  6. She'll ask for help fixing technology.
    Her tv menu was in Spanish and her laptop hadn't been updated in 2 years. She was also connecting to her neighbor's wifi & was upset it was so slow.
  7. Fox News will be BLASTING from the tv.
    Partially bc her hearing is bad, but mostly bc she's trying to save me.