I taught 5th Grade for eleven years, and I wrote down the funny/ridiculous things my students said. See Vol. 31 here: QUOTES FROM MY 5TH GRADE STUDENTS (VOL. 31)
  1. "Today, don't touch Jacob's stomach."
  2. "When you get a sunburn, are you considered white or black?"
  3. "You're drinking water, and the next thing you know, you're drinking lice."
  4. "You have no way to prove I'm a boy."
  5. Student: "She won me by three!" Me: "She won me by three? Can you say that correctly?" Student: "Okay, she won me by two!"
  6. "Is it possible to get plastic surgery on your brain to make it like a star shape?"
  7. "I'm a boxer shorts kind of guy."
  8. Student: "I figured out that reading is the only thing that keeps me quiet." Me: "The only thing?" Student: "Unless there's candy or ice cream involved."
  9. "You know that movie Gone with the Wind? Isn't that with Michael Jackson?"
  10. "On the last week of school, can I call you Miss Lady?"