I taught 5th Grade for eleven years, and I wrote down the funny/ridiculous things my students said. See Vol. 33 here: QUOTES FROM MY 5TH GRADE STUDENTS (VOL. 33)
  1. "My mom says goodnight to our dog and gives him, like, a ten minute kiss."
  2. "I thought of an easy way to paint your wall red without buying paint...take a pencil, stab your hand, and let the blood squirt all over the wall."
  3. "I'm ready to cough up my lunch."
  4. Student: "Can I have your mini cupcake?" Me: "No." Student: "But it's so mini and cupcake-y!"
  5. Student: "I came up with a new sport. Pencil punting!" Me: "That sounds dangerous." Student: "Not if you're in a dark alley by yourself."
  6. "Dark alleys aren't scary if you have a fishing rod and some lucky gold."
  7. "I'm starting to think that Barney does it for the money, not the kids."
  8. "Cover up your lip so they think you're a Conquistador."
  9. Student 1: "You have a mustache." Student 2: "I know. It's like 3 o'clock. By 6th grade, it'll be 5 o'clock. I'll be rich. I'll be on TV for going through puberty too fast."
  10. "People get out of control with squirtable cheese."