THINGS YOU NOTICE WHILE STRANDED IN THE AKRON, OHIO AIRPORT

E. Kron trapped in Akron!!!!!
  1. This airport looks suspiciously like my middle school (i.e. lots of tan brick walls, linoleum floors with a haphazard pattern of slightly different colored stripes of secondary linoleum. Was this a cost-saver?)
  2. The only food establishment I could find contains 4 different kinds of jerky (as expected) but also carried my fav flavor of Luna bar!!!!!!!!!
  3. They sell "buckeye" candies that look as though they're just normal caramels. It'd be pretty dope though if people from Akron exclusively ate BUCKEYE CANDIES.
  4. The man behind the register here was not impressed when I told him "I was born in Cleveland but I live in NEW YORK CITY, NOW"
  5. The man behind the register was not impressed when I spent 20 minutes looking at every item in the deli/convenience store and settled on one small bottle of smart water
  6. The man behind the register was (understandably) confused as to why I wanted to drink my smart water while watching him combine one aluminum tin of chopped onions into another aluminum tin of chopped onions
  7. This airport has a working pay phone!!! Someone has abandoned an apple juice beneath it. And they don't seem to sell apple juice here!
  8. When I returned to the store 15 minutes later to check if they sold apple juice and instead purchased a Luna bar, the guy behind the register made eye contact and said "hello, again." I was 100% surprised and delighted he remembered me. (I'm a regular now!)
  9. They do not play music in this airport, which I appreciate. Enough silence that I can easily eavesdrops on people's phone conversations. One man is thinking of buying a fixer-upper house right near the Medical College of Wisconsin (where my parents work!!!!!!!!!)
  10. This world that we live in!!!! It is so small!!!!
  11. This airport that I live in!!! It is also so small!!!