THINGS I HAVE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO MY CAT TODAY

I often find myself explaining things to my cat as if she is a rational being who speaks English. Here are some things I have explained to her so far today.
  1. Just because you can knock things down, doesn't mean you should
  2. People do not appreciate cat butt on their pillow
  3. Water is for drinking, not for splashing
  4. iPhone chargers are expensive
  5. You will never have free reign of the bedroom if you keep putting trash in the laundry
  6. The vacuum is not trying to kill you