1. the diver
    summer fling that I couldn't get over/had a girlfriend/I got the boat
  2. the pilot
    slept together once/wasn't great/he immediately met someone else and started dating her
  3. the teenager
    not an actual teenager but acts like one/so boring/wanted me to fist him
  4. the douchebag
    the actual worst guy I've ever slept with (and I've gone for some real doozies)/jerked off in my bed while I was also in bed/we talked for two years before sleeping together
  5. fuck these dudes