WAYS THAT I'VE HURT MYSELF LATELY

I fall down a lot and I'm only sometimes drunk
  1. Fell off a boat
    Don't worry, I smashed into the dock
  2. Missed the last step going down the stairs
    It was a bitch to get back up them
  3. Paddle boarding finger injury
    I'm quite unsure as to how this happened but one day I went paddle boarding and now my finger is injured
  4. That time I sat up and knocked my head into the corner of the window ledge
  5. Picked up a metal flower pot and sliced my hand open
  6. Walked into same flower pot and sliced my leg open