TOTALLY NORMAL THINGS I FIND TOTALLY BIZARRE

These are things I think about. A lot.
  1. People traveling via train, plane and automobile
    Step 1: Picture people sitting in cars, standing in trains and sleeping on airplanes. Step 2: Imagine the mode of transportation physically moving these imaginary humans disappearing, leaving only their bodies moving through space. Step 3: Laugh, but then feel really weird that people are just like, in a sitting position in the sky like it's totally normal. Step 4: Never think about Step 3 while you're 30,000 ft above land.
  2. Pools
    Although I grew up with a pool in my backyard, I still think the concept of this is the weirdest. It's literally a hole in the ground that's filled with water and costs tens of thousands of dollars, not to mention upkeep costs and labor. A hole. Filled with water. That you pay for. It's really weird, guys, I promise.
  3. The universe
    Legit I just can't.
  4. Indoor pets
    Again, I had me one of these growing up. They just sit inside and look out at a much more exciting world. Do they realize how sad this is? They literally do the same thing every single day - do they feel as pathetic as they truly are? This always leads down a Truman Show rabbit hole, which I can't even begin to get into or I'll need to take a half-day at work. "I'm onto something Marlon, something BIG."
  5. The iCloud
    Like what. See also: international texting.
  6. Babies learning to talk
    It is beyond my comprehension that tiny humans who do not yet have the fine motor skills to hold a spoon can learn a freaking full-fledged language. Not to mention the fact that these miniature geniuses need their @$$es wiped for them 'til they're three, but have an easier time learning multiple languages at once than an educated adult. Plasticity, man.