JOBS I WISH WERE REAL SO I COULD DO THEM
- •Sally Hansen Nail Products AmbassadorBasically I'd just promote SH which I do anyway but I'd get paid
- •Roswell Museum CuratorPresumably this does exist but basically when I went to the Roswell Museum in New Mexico I was disappointed in it and wanted it to be MORE kitsch-tastic.
- •TV WatcherMy normal life but I somehow get paid for it. Just to watch TV, not write about it.
- •TV Watching CompanionMy BFF and I often discuss setting up a business where we accompany lonely people while they watch TV and make color commentary. Downsides would be murder.
- •90s Nostalgia PromoterSomething I'm committed to anyway but with a lot more mall tours announcing my presence.