THOUGHTS I HAD DURING MY SECOND-EVER MASSAGE

The first time I got a massage I was 23 and it was part of Spa Week back when I lived in New York.
  1. Oh this music isn't Enya or anything
  2. I think it's Colbie Caillat actually
  3. She's moving my underwear down. Sorry but this DOES feel sexual.
  4. How could guys ever avoid erections in this scenario?
  5. Oh now this is DEFINITELY John Legend
  6. Usually when someone is touching me in this way I'm supposed to alert them to my enjoyment via sound.
  7. Well at least she isn't remarking on my double-jointed elbows and telling me she could "just imagine me as a little girl playing around with your elbows all bent"
    This was before jumping on top of me on the table
  8. I need to make a list for ListApp of this
  9. I guess I can't grab my phone
  10. Hmm, I wonder if writing a list in my head is counter productive to the spirit of a massage
  11. That feels great and painful on my neck. Where literally all my tension is.
  12. Did I write down my penicillin allergy?
  13. They probably won't need to know about that anyway
  14. What possible response could I have to "can I put a cucumber mask on you?" except "sure!"
  15. Is she gonna massage my boobs???
  16. Oh. Nope.
  17. Man, that's over already?