THOUGHTS I HAD DURING MY SECOND-EVER MASSAGE
The first time I got a massage I was 23 and it was part of Spa Week back when I lived in New York.
- •Oh this music isn't Enya or anything
- •I think it's Colbie Caillat actually
- •She's moving my underwear down. Sorry but this DOES feel sexual.
- •How could guys ever avoid erections in this scenario?
- •Oh now this is DEFINITELY John Legend
- •Usually when someone is touching me in this way I'm supposed to alert them to my enjoyment via sound.
- •Well at least she isn't remarking on my double-jointed elbows and telling me she could "just imagine me as a little girl playing around with your elbows all bent"This was before jumping on top of me on the table
- •I need to make a list for ListApp of this
- •I guess I can't grab my phone
- •Hmm, I wonder if writing a list in my head is counter productive to the spirit of a massage
- •That feels great and painful on my neck. Where literally all my tension is.
- •Did I write down my penicillin allergy?
- •They probably won't need to know about that anyway
- •What possible response could I have to "can I put a cucumber mask on you?" except "sure!"
- •Is she gonna massage my boobs???
- •Oh. Nope.
- •Man, that's over already?