RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT HAVE OUTRAGED MY DAD
He's like Donald Duck if you remove the sailor uniform and feathers but keep the seething rage.
- •Outdoor lightingWhen my mom said we did not need to install string lights in the patio -while- we had guests over, my dad decided "You have no standards, Deidre."
- •Coffee cup lidsOne morning my dad couldn't find the lid to his favorite (free) to-go coffee cup. He furiously searched through the cabinet, and when it was still missing he declared "This is a malicious act!!!" Turns out he misplaced it because no, my family does not get some sick amusement from hiding Tupperware.
- •My dog being a domesticated animalMy dog has to come inside at night because it gets cold. Apparently an animals becomes "needy" when it is not entirely self-sufficient. One night the dog wanted in so he tapped the door with his paw. My dad: "He's in! He's out! He wants a bone!" Apparently needing food, water, and shelter is outrageous.
- •NoiseIf we drop anything and it dares to make a sound: "settle down!!!"