How to Sing "Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar" as a Sensitive Person

  1. In second grade summer camp we sat in a circle on the carpet and our long haired hippie teacher, Eve, taught us a song.
  2. "Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?"
  3. Sitting cross legged we patted our knees to create the rhythm. We all sang "Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?"
  4. Eve chose someone and sang "Matthew!" And we all joined in with "...stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"
  5. Matthew sang, "Who me?"
  6. We chorused, "Yes, you!"
  7. Matthew sang, "Couldn't be!"
  8. We chorused, "Then who?"
  9. And Matthew would choose somebody else. This went on for several rounds of names.
  10. "Then who?" we sang to a boy named Tyler.
  11. "Erin!" sang Tyler.
  12. Everyone looked at me and joined in, "Erin stole the cookie from the cookie jar!"
  13. *Note: at this point, I've been singing along for at least 5 or 6 names and I understand this is just a song.
  14. At finding myself accused, I burst into tears and sobbed, "No, I didn't!" And wept uncontrollably.
  15. Today I'm a fun person.