Secret Single Behavior. Phrase coined by Carrie Bradshaw.
- •Interpretive dancing to the Frozen soundtrack.
- •Making myself a snack of bread, cheese, and honey on a wooden cutting board while reading fantasy novels because that's the kind of food the characters always eat.
- •Putting on red lipstick. Then taking it off.
- •Wandering around my apartment looking at my things as though through the eyes of a stranger.
- •Googling, "Betty and Veronica, porn." Then, "Why do people have sexual fetishes?" Then, "Hair breakage." Then, "Bedbugs."
- •Watching Pitch Perfect. Over and over.
- •Lying naked on my bed in a sun patch so my vagina can get some vitamin D.
- •Deleting all my social media and feeling great. Then putting it all back on and feeling terrible.
- •Letting trash pile up next to the garbage. Taking off a sweater as I get home and tossing it on the floor. Kicking a spilled vitamin under the fridge instead of picking it up. Thinking, why don't I try to live nicely for me?
- •Texting everyone I'm friends with "Hi, I like you," or "❤️❤️❤️" and then waiting.
- •Sitting and thinking about going out until it's too late.
- •Going on Craigslist to look for a new apartment. Getting so anxious at high rents plus prospect of having to call strangers that I give up and put on Harry Potter. Again.