What I Have Thought "Sexy" Was

What is "sexy?" Let's explore it in a loosely chronological list!
  1. Arlene in Garfield
  2. Jessica (but not Elizabeth) Wakefield
    They were identical twins.
  3. Betty and Veronica
    They might as well have been identical twins except for hair color.
  4. Kelly Kapowski
  5. Pamela Anderson
  6. The blonde who seduced Arnold Schwartzennagger in Twins.
    My sister and I rewound the part where she says, "This bed is lumpy," because she slurs "isszzlumpy" and we thought it was hilarious.
  7. Phoebe Cates in Fast Times
  8. The song Closer by Nine Inch Nails
    At age 15 I commented on my acting teacher's husband: "He brings the song Closer to mind." No. I thought he was cute. I did not want to fuck him like an animal.
  9. 90's Patricia Arquette
  10. 90's Juliette Lewis
  11. 90's Drew Barrymore
  12. Thongs
  13. Mila Jovovich
  14. Jeans with heels
  15. Jewel
    I criticized her fucked up teeth and a guy I liked said they were sexy and I immediately regretted getting braces.
  16. Perfume ads that take place in fields.
  17. (For the life of me I can't think of what I thought sexy was from 2005 ish to 2010. I think I was depressed.)
  18. Sarah Silverman
  19. Gilda Radner
  20. Anthropologie ads that take place in fields
  21. The #YesAllWomen movement online. I've never loved women more and I love women a lot.
  22. Brienne from Game of Thrones
  23. Soap
    I had a sexy dream about washing my hands with a new bar of soap. ????
  24. Sharks
    I can't control what I dream ok
  25. Butts
    Always and forever