THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING BEHIND ME
- •I can't feel a breeze, but my buttcrack must be showing for sure
- •They know about my muffin top
- •My hair must be sticking straight up. When was the last time someone rubbed a balloon on it?
- •(If cajolers are younger than me) damn where did they learn how to be cooler than me?