BEST QUOTES FROM MY COLLEGE PROFESSORS

Yes, all of these are real. When you study writing in college, you really don't know what you're going to hear.
  1. "If you can't lie successfully by the end of the semester, I don't have a problem failing you."
  2. "Forget what's on the syllabus! We're playing Mad Libs today!" Same fiction class
  3. "This story is fantastic! ...you skipped all of your classes today because you forgot it was due, didn't you?"
  4. "Your assignment was to write a story about Pitt's nightlife. Why did everyone write an angry story about their favorite drink pizza going from $5 to $6? Lucky for you, I'm mad, too. You all got A's."
  5. "Sorry I'm late. Aaron Paul was taking selfies outside of the Cathedral of Learning and I pushed myself to the front of the line."
  6. *walks into classroom* "This is a bad time to ask if anyone's allergic to dogs..." *brings dog into classroom*
  7. "Raise your hand if you've never read Harry Potter." *one hand shoots up* "And you got into Pitt how?"
  8. "Raise your hand if you hate fantasy." *half of the class* "Get out."
  9. "Let me get this straight - your criticism of her screenplay is that there is too much dialogue. Have you ever been in a conversation before?"
  10. "Eryn, where did you get that 3DS?" Me: "Boyfriend got me one for Valentine's Day." "Gentlemen, none of your sweaters look like they're made of boyfriend material. Step your game up."