BEST QUOTES FROM MY COLLEGE PROFESSORS
Yes, all of these are real. When you study writing in college, you really don't know what you're going to hear.
- •"If you can't lie successfully by the end of the semester, I don't have a problem failing you."
- •"Forget what's on the syllabus! We're playing Mad Libs today!" Same fiction class
- •"This story is fantastic! ...you skipped all of your classes today because you forgot it was due, didn't you?"
- •"Your assignment was to write a story about Pitt's nightlife. Why did everyone write an angry story about their favorite drink pizza going from $5 to $6? Lucky for you, I'm mad, too. You all got A's."
- •"Sorry I'm late. Aaron Paul was taking selfies outside of the Cathedral of Learning and I pushed myself to the front of the line."
- •*walks into classroom* "This is a bad time to ask if anyone's allergic to dogs..." *brings dog into classroom*
- •"Raise your hand if you've never read Harry Potter." *one hand shoots up* "And you got into Pitt how?"
- •"Raise your hand if you hate fantasy." *half of the class* "Get out."
- •"Let me get this straight - your criticism of her screenplay is that there is too much dialogue. Have you ever been in a conversation before?"
- •"Eryn, where did you get that 3DS?" Me: "Boyfriend got me one for Valentine's Day." "Gentlemen, none of your sweaters look like they're made of boyfriend material. Step your game up."