Desert Island Picks

Okay! You’re stranded on a desert island, what top picks do you bring with you?
  1. Book
    What!? How did I get on an island? What happened to me??
  2. Album
    ALBUM? Fuck you. Is there a stereo on this island? Can it be converted to broadcast? Who am I kidding, I wouldn’t know how to do that if I tried. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???
  3. Magazine
    Jesus, I don’t know, whatever is biggest. It’s going to get dark eventually and I’ll need to burn something to stay warm…and keep the animals away. Oh Christ, I am going to die.
  4. Kitchen Appliance
    KITCHEN APPLIANCE??? Isn’t that defined by being in a KITCHEN? Fuck, fine. Ok, an ax. You know, a kitchen ax. GO WITH ME HERE, I AM TRYING TO SURVIVE.
  5. Movie
    Do you mean DVD? I guess Dirty Dancing, I don’t think I’d get sick of that…. WHY AM I ANSWERING THIS?? Get me off this fucking island!
  6. TV Show
    That – that doesn’t make any sense. Again, do you mean DVDs? What am I watching this stuff on? WHO ARE YOU?? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF HELPING ME???
  7. Cupcake
    Okay. I get it. This is some kind of fucked up “Saw” thing. You are trying to break me.
  8. Make-up
    WHATEVER I CAN DRINK. FUCK YOU, YOU MONSTER.