When I was in middle school I memorized the fear mantra from Dune. It helped a little, but I still harbor too many everyday fears.
- •Bugs coming out of my walls or skin. Especially if they’re being born.
- •I am living an alternate reality version of the life I’m supposed to be living. I made some error years ago and it sent me on this wrong path, where I have bangs.
- •I am unknowingly wanted by the government, and they’re just taking their time before they nab me.
- •At this point it is more likely that I will become Mayor of Raccoontown than have a successful long-term relationship.
- •The reason I can't make an LTR work is because I don't really want one, because I ran out of the ability to love.
- •Foxholes. Oh Jesus, FOXHOLES.
- •I will be arrested by an LA cop for being too fat in public. (City ordinance 23.7a)
- •My whole family is going to get their legs ripped off or just get applesauce brains and I'll have to say goodbye to my life to take care of them.
- •I will contract some kind of "vaginal rot" from public bathrooms, and the only cure will be wearing a huge cone around my neck that says "VAGINAL ROT."
- •Everyone else knows something I don’t know.
- •Rats coming out of the toilet.
- •People who find out how much I love them are embarrassed for me.