Things Dudes Have Said To/about Me at Comedy Shows
I suppose I should note that I am a comic, and a woman.
- •"Eliza Skinner, everyone! I think we can all smell her pussy"This was after my set and in reference to a joke I do about a talking dog, but it still felt so jarring and gross the whole audience was like "NOPE. G'BYE DUDE."
- •"Do you date other comics? I don't. I don't need my girlfriend to be funny, you know? I like that she just laughs."This was super depressing, because ugh. But it was also kind of interesting because he was expecting me to have the same feelings about dudes that I date that he does about women he dates, since we're both comics.
- •"This next gal is the love of my life, Eliza Skinner!"I feel like should hate this but I don't. I love it. Gender politics are kooky, folks!
- •"This next comic is a GIRL. And she's HOT. YEAH! Give it up for Eliza Skinner"This one however, blech. Yuck dude, you sound like a creepy grandpa.
- •"I like you better when you're not talking."From a headliner. When these dudes say stuff like this that is supposed to intimidate or neg me, it just sounds so pathetic and weak. The wailings of an old man baby.
- •"Hey - a girl got mad at me at a show because I said _________. What do you think?"This has happened a bunch of times, and it has led to many funny, frustrating, bickering, enlightening conversations for both parties. Do I speak for all women? No. But I like that comics walk away and really think about what they are saying and how their ideas are coming across. Cool stuff.
- •"Have you heard of musical improv? They offer classes."A dude earnestly asked me this AFTER I got a standing ovation from a sold out crowd, doing musical improv at a comedy club. Also, I have taught musical improv for the UCB for 10 years. I don't know what the fuck he thought I was doing on stage. I hate to assume intentions, but - baby no need you, daddy.
- •"You don't look like a comic,"Well you don't sound like one, so who gives a fuck what you think?
- •"Oh my god that is so fucking funny!" Also: "Hey, are you ok?"Because I'm a comic, most of my friends are comedy dudes, and they light up my little life. I am sad that to many people the image of "male comedian" is a loudmouth jerk - and not the squishy, sensitive, strong, smart, weirdos I roll with.