HOW TO MAKE A FROZEN PIZZA

  1. Pre-heat oven
  2. Watch an episode or two of a tv show
  3. Think, hey my apartment is really hot
  4. Put pizza in oven
  5. Stare at oven and think, I should set a timer
  6. Decide that using an antiquated stupid timer on a dirty old oven is a bad idea when I have a fucking iPhone
  7. Go back into living room
  8. Forget to set timer on iPhone
  9. Watch an episode or two of a tv show
  10. Think, FUCK I BURNED THE PIZZA
  11. Confirm you burned the pizza
  12. Turn off oven
  13. Finish wine
  14. Go to bed