1. Erewhon doesn't care about you. They don't care that you miss the gluten free fried chicken. Erewhon giveth and Erewhon taketh with no mercy.
  2. Nothing at the salad bar is labeled and it's because they give zero fucks about you and your life.
  3. It takes six years of living in Los Angeles, or the equivalent of 250 trips to Erewhon, to comfortably order a drink from the tonic bar. No one is there to teach you that any smoothie can be turned into an cream. You have to learn it for yourself.
  4. Like their glass bottled pressed juices? Good for you. Enjoy the one you're drinking because there's a 1 in 100 chance it will taste the same next time. If Erewhon could be consistent here they'd be the #1 juice spot in Los Angeles. I know better because I live in reality and not up in the Strawberry Cloud.
    Some of the best juices I had until they were completely different the second time I had them: Fun In The Sun, Cherry Bomb, Strawberry Cloud.
  5. Trying to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl at Erewhon will send you and your confidence straight back to the mail room. These girls have the best dermatologists in the world and they don't have time to hear that you like the same gluten free crackers as them.
  6. For fucks sake where was the apple banana cake tonight?!?
    See what I mean😓