Things I'm Having Trouble Opening

  1. The battery compartment to my car key fob
  2. My car, because of aforementioned faulty fob
  3. The battery compartment to my electric toothbrush
  4. A can of whup-ass
  5. Word files from 2003
  6. My printer after a paper jam
  7. 50 Shades of Grey, because the writing was so awful the first time I opened it that I closed it immediately and threw it across the room lest its writing somehow infect my own through mere contact