1. The battery compartment to my car key fob
  2. My car, because of aforementioned faulty fob
  3. The battery compartment to my electric toothbrush
  4. A can of whup-ass
  5. Word files from 2003
  6. My printer after a paper jam
  7. 50 Shades of Grey, because the writing was so awful the first time I opened it that I closed it immediately and threw it across the room lest its writing somehow infect my own through mere contact