HOW TO TALK ABOUT SPORTS WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
At some point, it became clear that I would need to be able to talk about the sports if I wanted to connect to local dudes. It has taken some practice, but I believe I have perfected the skill/art.
- •Stand or sit in open, friendly posture, but do not make eye contact.
- •Look around and see if there is a TV.It might be playing the sports.
- •Notice if there is anyone next to you of the dude persuasion.
- •Murmur out of the corner of your mouth, "crazy game, huh?"
- •If dude-person ignores you, move to new location.
- •If dude-person remarks on how any player is doing, remark, "unbelievable!"
- •If dude-person remarks on prior game, remark, "unbelievable!"
- •If anything happens on screen indicating something either very good or very bad, bellow, "unbelievable!"
- •If dude-person raises hand for hand-slappage, you may proceed to slap hand: once only.
- •For duration of game, periodically remark, "unbelievable," varying tone to reflect delight, disgust, or ennui.