HOW TO TALK ABOUT SPORTS WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

At some point, it became clear that I would need to be able to talk about the sports if I wanted to connect to local dudes. It has taken some practice, but I believe I have perfected the skill/art.
  1. 1.
    Stand or sit in open, friendly posture, but do not make eye contact.
  2. 2.
    Look around and see if there is a TV.
    It might be playing the sports.
  3. 3.
    Notice if there is anyone next to you of the dude persuasion.
  4. 4.
    Murmur out of the corner of your mouth, "crazy game, huh?"
  5. 5.
    If dude-person ignores you, move to new location.
  6. 6.
    If dude-person remarks on how any player is doing, remark, "unbelievable!"
  7. 7.
    If dude-person remarks on prior game, remark, "unbelievable!"
  8. 8.
    If anything happens on screen indicating something either very good or very bad, bellow, "unbelievable!"
  9. 9.
    If dude-person raises hand for hand-slappage, you may proceed to slap hand: once only.
  10. 10.
    For duration of game, periodically remark, "unbelievable," varying tone to reflect delight, disgust, or ennui.