MY TRANSFORMERS COLLECTION

In a prior list, I tooted my own horn as having once owned the largest collection of Transformers in Mequon, WI. Thankfully, I had the foresight not to give them away to some little neighborhood kid to shove up his nose, and so I still have most of them in their pristine state. Below, a "cherry-pick" of my most treasured Transformers.
  1. Optimus Prime
    Leader of the Autobots. Turns from a truck into a truck with legs and a head.
  2. Teenagicor
    Perpetually transforms from infantile adult mode to brilliant baby mode. Armament includes: eye-lazers and eye-rolling.
  3. Tea-Cattel
    Transforms from soft and snuggly kitty into powerful tea-kettle. Strength: 8 Intelligence: 7 Brewing time: 3 minutes.
  4. Starscream
    Megatron's #2 and sometimes-nemesis, Starscream can travel MACH-3, carries powerful arm-mounted ion cannons, and transforms from jet to ice-cream cone. In ice-cream mode, must be evenly licked on all sides or he falls on the sidewalk and you cry until the guy behind the counter feels bad and gives you one for free. Ok, Timmy, will you be more careful, now?
  5. Hip-zor
    Transforms neighborhood cafe into place no one wants to be.
  6. Soundwave
    Transforms from robot into a boombox. And had little robots that transformed into tapes that went inside it, and...what? You don't know what a boombox is? Go back to your snap-chatting, you millenial!!!!
  7. Ironhide
    Transforms from hippie van into, like, whatever that is.