1. Being the first to comment on Facebook
    Like showing up for a party, opening the door, and the only guest besides you is watching Archie Bunker and eating pretzels in a tank top.
  2. Commenting off topic
    Like being on crowded dance floor and Uncle Russ jumps on the turntable and drops a polka track.
  3. Forgetting other people can see their comments
    Same crowded party. Someone yells "MY JOCK ITCH IS FLARING UP!"
  4. Thinking status box is a Google search
    "Where is Bernie Needleman"
  5. Posting pictures of you as a toddler, naked, holding a broom
    You know. That picture.
  6. Uneccessary praise
    Like having parents in front row of your poetry reading. Applauding loudly after every stanza.