I FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

But not very much.
  1. An acquaintance invited me to go to a mutual friend's party last Saturday.
    I already had plans for later in the night but I said yes because she is an interesting person and I was kind of flattered that she asked me to go.
  2. Not romantic, by the way.
    I'm married. So this is just a make-friends situation. We've chatted a few times at group functions and we've gotten along well.
  3. We picked a bar to meet at before the party.
  4. She showed up 30 minutes late.
    But she did send a text and it's drinks with friends not the State of the Union Address so I gave this a pass.
  5. I was in a booth drinking a vodka soda.
    It's my go-to drink because highest alcohol to calories ratio.
  6. She told me she wanted to go to the bar and get artisanal cocktails and talk to the bartenders.
    She also said my drink was boring. Technically true. But kind of bossy, right? Anyway, we went to the bar, but I started thinking about how I wasn't feeling very well respected.
  7. Hanging out at the bar was great.
    Talked cocktails with the bartender for like an hour. Had a lot to drink. Did shots of infused liqueurs.
  8. She started talking about her experience with dating apps and said she liked OKCupid best.
  9. I asked if she was one of those people who have really long profiles on OKCupid.
    Mistake.
  10. "Why would you say that? Do I seem like a narcissist to you?"
    Uhhhh...
  11. We get more drinks. She's still hung up on the OKCupid profile length thing and what it means about my opinion of her.
    Which I'm not sure what the clinical definition of narcissism is but obsessing about other people's opinion of you is probably in there somewhere.
  12. We've had two rounds and she's still asking. I figure it's time to go to the party.
    Gotta GTFO
  13. When we get outside the door, she starts texting a friend to join us.
    "He's a guy I met on a camping trip." Fine. Kinda feels like she's making a point, though. And why is this guy ready to join us at the drop of a hat?
  14. We had to walk two blocks to the party space.
  15. She asked about the OKCupid profile length thing again.
  16. At this point I forcibly change the subject. "Let's talk about something else. What do you do for a living?"
  17. Her: "Marketing for early stage startups."
  18. Me: "Cool! Which ones?"
  19. Her: "You wouldn't have heard of them."
  20. This is the part where I should have shut up. But I couldn't.
  21. Me: " If I haven't heard of them, then maybe you haven't been doing a good job marketing them?"
    Technically true. Arguably funny. Definitely undiplomatic at this point in time.
  22. Her: "What? Are you attacking me about my work?"
  23. Me, trying to explain the joke as if that's what the problem is: "It's a joke. Marketing is about getting people to know about your product."
  24. Just grumpy now. We get to the party, which is in an awesome secret party space in SoMa.
  25. Her friend shows up. Super brow-beaten kind of guy. No introduction. He does not look happy to be there. They head out to the smoking balcony.
  26. I'm talking to the host and about 10 other people at the bar. Really fun.
  27. She and her friend come in and order drinks at the cash bar. Don't have enough money. Pawing through change. Bartenders are exchanging looks.
  28. I pay for their drinks.
  29. She turns to me and says that she's angry with me for the things I said.
    The feeling is more than mutual by now but I don't see any point in having an argument so I hear her out and tell her to have a great night and I'll see her around.
  30. About 30 minutes later she tracks me down at the party. "I thought you had left without saying goodbye. Come look at the smokers patio."
    I'm talking to some friends but I say that I'll come check it out when I leave.
  31. I go out to the patio and say goodbye. Stiff and awkward.
    But really glad to be going to my next thing; dancing at the Elbo Room with old friends. So much fun.
  32. I sent her a text that I was sorry I'd hurt her feelings and that I'd like to hang out again some time to see if we're more sympatico in different circumstances.
  33. She replied the next day, reiterating her beef about the OKCupid profile length and the work thing, and saying that people who say things like that "aren't my jam."
    So, no , we wouldn't interact again on purpose.
  34. So that's why I feel bad.
    I don't like it when people give up on me. Even if I don't really like the person.
  35. But not that bad.
    I kind of figure if you're not failing some times, you're not really pushing the envelope. So it's worth trying to make new friends even if sometimes it goes wrong.