THE LIST APPOCALYPSE

Nobody wanted it to happen but it happened and now it's over and I'm sorry.
  1. Things seemed to be going so well.
  2. It was just the kind of community that you'd want to be a part of.
  3. It was invite-only, so you felt like what you did reflected on the person who invited you.
  4. And conversely once you were in you felt like it was special and you wanted to share it only with people who'd treat it that way.
  5. Whether consciously or unconsciously there was a really great balance of genders.
    Not perfect but a hell of a lot better than other places online.
  6. There was a culture of literacy.
  7. And a culture of bringing your best game.
  8. People were funny, sincere, creative and honest.
  9. They dug deep.
  10. They tried to be their best selves.
  11. And other people appreciated it and recognized it and liked people for doing good work.
  12. It was a warm and intimate place.
  13. And like most warm and intimate places things got romantic sometimes.
  14. That just happens. It's a good thing; real people making real connections.
  15. And somebody talked. You can't stop that. People talk.
  16. And when invitations got looser people who didn't want to be their best selves started coming in.
  17. They didn't try to modulate their tone or behavior to the community they were coming to.
  18. They instead practiced behaviors they'd learned from books or web sites for lonely men.
  19. They weren't good behaviors and they weren't sincere behaviors and they weren't honest behaviors.
  20. They made other people feel bad.
  21. Because people would dig deep and come up with something good and powerful and the response would be about how to go private and be sex buddies.
  22. It makes you feel dumb because you thought it was *this* and it turned out to be *that*.
  23. And it makes you feel cheap.
  24. And women started holding back because they didn't want to get hit on.
  25. And men started holding back because they didn't want to make the women they kind of felt were their friends feel uncomfortable.
  26. And everyone felt weird for not wanting to play a game that some people were really enthusiastic about playing.
  27. So ironically the people who were bravest and stayed open and honest suffered more and more weird insincere comeons and PUA garbage.
  28. And soon there was less prey to go around, and even the predators moved to better hunting grounds.
  29. Metrics went down. Investors expressed concern.
  30. Things were tried. Maybe new features would help?
  31. There was a pivot. It was OK but not enough.
  32. And it wasn't the same thing. That's what a pivot is.
  33. And an investor talked to a portfolio company about acquiring the team.
  34. It worked out.
  35. Then the blog post about thanks for coming on this journey with us but effective immediately etc.
  36. And maybe the people who had enjoyed it so much at that one certain time found somewhere else to go.
  37. Or maybe they had a hard time opening up that way again.