I dunno, it seems like a thing.
  1. I pretty much fuck off all day at work if I bother to go at all.
  2. I count on having a thunderclap of genius to get me through any stressful work situation.
  3. I'm really good-looking.
  4. I wear boring suburb-man clothes but I somehow manage to make them look edgy and cool.
  5. Everybody talks about me behind my back.
  6. I do dumb-ass shit impulsively for no obvious reason and play it off like it's completely natural.
  7. I am not an intriguer but I always find myself in the middle of other people's intrigues.
  8. I'm irresistible to French Canadians.
  9. I get young people to do my work for me by convincing them that a cool person likes them (me).
  10. I slept with the wife of the Utz Potato Chip CEO.