"Public Day"
  1. It's going to be a lot like what we're used to.
  2. But more so.
  3. The List App is dope and we do dope shit.
  4. People are coming here to join us.
  5. They're not coming to make something different or ruin what we have.
  6. They want to become part of our scene.
  7. They are going to be reading our stuff and saying to themselves "I love this so much!"
  8. "I want to make things like this!"
  9. "And I want to know these people!"
  10. We will still be here.
  11. And the people who are joining us will be friends, family, colleagues and neighbors who already like us as people and like our style.
  12. And we all get to meet each other's peeps.
  13. I bet even that super-attractive person you saw on public transit last week will join The List App and will read all your lists and be swept away by your wit and candor.
  14. They'll ask you out on a list date and you two will laugh and laugh about your favorite lists and hold hands across the table as you discuss some of the more emotionally hazardous lists and you will develop a startlingly deep bond.
  15. And later that night you will make tender yet athletic love until the sun comes up over the first day of your new life.
  16. And you'll write a really good list about the whole thing.
  17. And they'll write a list like TEN THINGS I ADORE ABOUT SOMEONE I NEVER EVEN BELIEVED I COULD POSSIBLY DESERVE and you'll be all embarrassed but secretly pleased at the attention.
  18. Anyway now that we started it's going to be hard to stop.
  19. Who the hell is going to get @ChrisK to stop posting fifty element lists twice a day?
  20. I don't want that job.
  21. We'll keep being great, and our new friends will copy our style and behavior because that's what people do when they join a new thing.
  22. And quit worrying about whether you should delete that list of ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BUTTS because your mom is going to see it because a) she probably isn't and b) your mom knows what a butt is for fuck's sake.
  23. We don't need to worry about what happens after P-Day.
  24. If you need something to worry about, well, if P-Day is October 14, that's also my birthday, so maybe think about the creative list you're going to make to say Happy Birthday to me.
  25. Something with lots of butts in it would be fine.