THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT

Here are things that give me nightmares
  1. Tim Curry as the terrifying concierge in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
  2. Clowns of any kind
  3. Overweight sweaty men that wear dingy tank tops
    Said tank tops are usually stained with creamed corn remnants and are a size too small
  4. The thought that I'll die alone and my cats will eat my eyeballs
    The fat asshole Kevin can bite my glasses off which furthers my suspicions
  5. Tim Curry as Rooster in Annie
  6. The glare from Daddy Warbuck's head in Annie
  7. Having people upset with me
  8. Thinking about the Halloween episode of Quantum Leap
    It had an evil goat, a possessed Al and it featured a young Stephen King character. The truly scary thing about this is whenever it would air on tv, the broadcast would stop or go off air
  9. Do bitching parties at cement plants exist?
  10. Tim Curry as the power outage murderer on Criminal Minds
  11. What happens when two people with hyphenated last names procreate? Does the child have four last names?