I tried.
  1. My dad's birthday is tomorrow.
  2. I always bake a cake.
    And it is always a yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
  3. I lost the old recipe.
  4. Not to worry! The Internet exists.
  5. So I found a new recipe with rave reviews.
  6. I followed the shit out of this recipe.
    And the batter was delicious.
  7. I popped the two pans, which were halfway full, into the oven.
  8. 10 minutes later everything went to shit.
  9. Smoke everywhere
  10. There were shrill screams
    Okay those were mine.
  11. I ran to look at my masterpiece.
  12. It had exploded in the oven?
  13. So I put a cookie sheet down under the pans and decided to wait it out.
    Because it literally can't get worse.
  14. And here we are, a long time after I started baking this pieces of shit.
  15. And this is where I'm at.
  16. Sorry, Dad. I tried.