Reasons I Haven't Yet Posted Any Lists

  1. I have major anxiety about my lists providing some artificial sense of value.
    To myself, mostly, but arbitrarily others as well? If you can't get a good chuckle or a chin scratch from it, what are we even doing here. Internet narcissism strikes again.
  2. Every list I've read thus far is much funnier or more interesting than anything I've been able to come up with.
    Which poses a problem as I generally consider myself to be both funny and interesting but clearly only when I'm not trying. Ashley was right, as usual.
  3. Coming up with list ideas is surprisingly difficult.
    See items one and two. I mean come on, do you really want to read "Loads of Laundry I did Today?" Because I don't want to write it!
  4. Coming up with things to put on a list is also difficult.
    I kind of hate lists, I've realized. It's challenging enough for me to just to come up with a shopping list each week, now I'm supposed to write them for fun!? This is why I write software, so that something else can do it for me.
  5. Is this just a BuzzFeed brainwashing crash course?
    Top 14 reasons all written communication will be in the form of listicles by 2017
  6. It's hard for me to feel like anything I write is ever truly "done."
    Most of my tweets are second or third drafts. If you look closely you'll see them pop up and disappear from my timeline, because those 140 characters HAVE to be in the perfect arrangement or else nobody will ever be friends with me and how will I gain notoriety in my field, or any field? I think this is the 13th draft of this item.
  7. If I see a list, I feel compelled to complete it.
    This will be impossible considering none of these are "action items" or "to-dos," so that should be a fun distraction nagging at me in the back of my mind for the next few days until I hopefully forget this list exists until the next time I open this app
  8. Surely most of you draft these on something other than your phones, right?
    My thumbs can tippity-tap away with the best of them, thanks to having been carrying a cell phone since 8th grade (thanks Nokia 5190!), but man it seems tough to not at least jot some things down first. I'm not very good at being a Millenial.
  9. I've put too much thought into this one already.
    I blew it.