Times I've Wondered "Who Raised You?" on the Subway

  1. The girl eating a smelly onion bagel sandwich
  2. Girls whipping and primping their hair so that it's continually touching me
  3. People who get up and want you to get out of the way before the train stops - I like holding on and not falling, thanks
  4. Women who enter the car with sharpshooter eyes, and then borderline sprint for a seat
  5. Take your damn backpack off.
  6. Women who hold huge purses in the crook of their arm. I do not want your bag touching me.
  7. Manspreaders
  8. Womanspreaders (bags rather than balls)
  9. Bikes during rush hour
  10. Large/multiple suitcases. If you can't afford a cab, you shouldn't be traveling.
  11. "Show time" performers and the people who give them money for some reason
  12. Girl singing Christina Aguilera at 7am - I got on early to avoid people and now I'm dealing with you
  13. You don't need to step on the back of my shoes. If I'm not getting off the train yet, it's because the people in front of me haven't moved yet.
  14. If I've been waiting longer, I should get on the train before you. Don't pretend you don't know that.
  15. People who apparate out of nowhere when the train appears and expect to get on first.
  16. Attention couple cuddling around the pole, I need to hold onto this too.
  17. Yes, please stand by the door rather than the middle of the train. This makes sense for the flow of traffic on and off.
  18. Leaving your garbage on the train? You are human garbage.
  19. I took my hand off the pole for one second to adjust my bag. You do not get my hand spot!
  20. You are tall enough to hold on to the horizontal bars...please move into the train and stop acting like you need to stand in this spot preventing more people from getting on.
  21. I appreciate your desire to read, but I need to stand here so I can get to work.
  22. People anxious to be the first person off the train who will clearly be the slowest person up the stairs